The moment has come, and your child just told you they are bisexual, transgender, queer, or gay.

Maybe they’re asking you to use new pronouns or even a new name, and suddenly everything feels unfamiliar. It’s like you have to learn a new language all at once.

You may be thinking, “I have no idea how to support them,” or “how on earth do I handle this?”

Here is what’s true: It was probably very difficult for your child to come out to you, AND, the way you’re feeling right now is normal and valid.

If you’re unsure where to start, here are a few quick and simple responses:

• A hug or “I love you” goes a long way and can speak volumes when you don’t have the words

• Listen to what they have to say. If you think they want to talk but may not start the conversation, you can simply ask them how their day was. Yes, you may get a “Fine” from them, but it will communicate that the door is open for when they are ready.

• Use their new pronouns, even if you don’t understand it all yet.

• Do your own research on what the terms mean. You can find a list of resources here.